So today is my hubby's birthday so this post is about him, about our family.
Unlike in the post mentioned above, Jason's not in the military, not taken away from me months at a time but he has been taken from me for a time (long, drama, full of crazy people story!). But like in these posts these wives are proud of their husbands, stand with them just like I do with Jason.
Currently I envy him since he is the one that stays at home and I work. It’s not that he doesn’t want to work but because his multiple sclerosis keeps him from being able to now. And for those of you who know my husband this drives him crazy not being able to work, he's worked since he was 13 years old. Jason may have MS but he tries his hardest to not let it control his (or our) life, but as with anything some days it gets the better of him.
Recently, I've noticed that when I tell people he has MS they tell me they are sorry. I know I look at these people like they've grown a third arm since I don't see a reason to be sorry about it. Yes, he has MS, no it's not easy, yes it keeps him from doing some things (running, jumping, heavy lifting) but it doesn’t keep him from trying and it doesn't keep him from being him. Multiple sclerosis is just another piece of our life, it’s not our whole life.
Someone recently made the comment that I “have to take care of my husband” – now this person has only met us once so I know that she had no idea about our life but the comment made me a tad angry. I don’t have to take care of my husband, he’s perfectly capable of taking care of himself and our family, he’s not an invalid and even if he was I would take care of him, not because I “have to” but because I want to.
I think that some people fail to see that just because Jason doesn’t work a job outside the home doesn’t mean he doesn’t work, he does work in our home and does a much better job at it than I could or ever have!
We married for better or worse and we’ve been through a lot of ups and downs over the past 16 years. A lot of the things we’ve been through most marriages wouldn’t survive but we’ve stuck them out, we’ve worked through them, we’ve learned from them, we’ve kept on going and we are a better couple from all of it. Our key through all of it is honesty – it’s actually how we started off our relationship just when we were dating, it’s what we teach our kids. As long as we our honest about things and don’t lie to each other then we can get through anything. We see lots of friends, other couples that talk to each other but don’t really talk, they don’t know what the other is doing, doesn’t know what makes the other one happy, don’t tell each other everything – they think we’re the crazy ones for always being honest but I think they’re the ones that are crazy for not being honest!
From people looking into our marriage from the outside, I guess it may seem a little strange that he stays home and I'm the one that goes to work, but not to us. I've had people criticize me for not being a stay at home mom, telling me I don't spend enough time with my kids, that I’m not being a good wife. My children are better people because I do work outside the home. I am not the type of person that can be a stay at home mom, for the ones that can and do I have nothing against them, I just can’t do it. I’m glad I have worked all this time, so now that Jason is not able, that I’m able to support our family. I hate seeing moms that stay at home and have “lost themselves”, meaning they have no hobbies, no life outside of their kids. We all from time to time need a break from our kids, need a break from our spouses, it’s what keeps us sane and reminds us how much we appreciate the things we do have. That’s one thing Jason and I make sure we do as a couple, we carve out time just for us without the kids. People think we are crazy when we tell them our kids our not our lives, but apart of our lives. Our whole relationship doesn’t revolve around our kids, yes we make decisions with our kids in mind but we also make decision that our good for us as a couple and good for our family.
Okay, I got on a little bit of a rant and off track there!
Sometimes I forget just how smart Jason is until I hear him having conversations with people, how much stuff he knows. I watch/listen to him help the girls with their homework, listen to them argue with him, hear it in their voice when they realize he's right - it's so cute! He’s a wonderful father, husband and friend (even though he’s lost a lot of them for being scared of his MS), he’s always there if someone needs help, needs anything. He’s great at showing people that there are always other views, other sides to a story. He’s good at calming people down, getting people to slow down and enjoy the little things in life.
I’m very thankful that I met Jason when I was so young, that we’ve stayed together against all odds, that I married such a wonderful caring person. Thankful that he puts up with my crazy moods, all my projects, that he helps ground me, that he makes me a better person.
Happy Birthday My Love!
